Severus's Suffering
by Crystal56
Summary: Why is Severus the way he is? Is it possible there is more to his past than meets the eye? Read and Review and enjoy! Warning: Some slight abuse!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song, the one I shall use later in the story basically; the plot is the only thing I have...

Severus's Suffering

"Hello?" I asked, knocking on the door. The dingy, faded color door, with a few crack symbolized the whole house. It was falling apart, and it was very old. It swung open, only to show a women, who had black hair and deep eyes.  
"Hello. Can I help you?" she asked, she looked so much like Severus.  
"Hi, yes, I'm looking for Severus Snape. I heard he lives here," I explained.  
"Oh, well, he's here. Come on in," she said, although it was obvious that I bothered her a bit. I followed her into the darkened house. I watched her go to the stairs that were nearby.  
"Severus, someone to see you!" she yelled up. Looking around, I saw dingy colored wallpaper in some variety of deep green, and in what was supposed to be the living room, I saw a man there, snoozing on a chair. That must be his father, so I can see he truly got his hair from his mother. He held a bottle of Fire-whisky in his hand.  
"Oh, really? I actually have a visitor mum?" I heard a familiar voice ask, and then after some footsteps, I saw Severus staring at me from the base of the stairs. He looked either furious or scared. He looked at his father, and then he grabbed my hand.  
"Thanks mum!" he said, and then dragged me up the stairs as quickly as he could. He shoved me into a room, I assumed his room, and then followed me in and shut it tight.  
"Uh, hi?" I sort of asked, looking for something I was missing.  
"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked in a panicked tone, sitting on the bed. I sat next to him.  
"I wanted to see you," I replied, confused.  
"Then send me an owl and I would come and see you. Don't come here! Damn it!" he said, then looking at my shocked expression, lowered his voice, "It's my father."  
"Does he beat you or something? I'm sorry..." I said, making assumptions. I looked at my hands.  
"No, it's not... well... you shouldn't have come," he said. I hugged him, surprising him.  
"But I wanted to see you," I said.  
"It's just... my father... he's a heavy drinker and a dark wizard. He doesn't like people like you. He also thinks I'm worthless, so any friends I bring over, if I had many at all, he'd scare away," he explained, 'My mum, she watches it... and she always says as she tucks me in she will one day get me out of here. But, I don't want to leave her, and yet, she only wants a better life for me, and I know she will do whatever to get me out of here she can. I know it." He shrugged out of my grasp.  
"So... he like... does beat you!" I said, and Severus didn't meet my gaze that time.  
"It's just; you're the first friend... I've truly had," he said, and then looked into my eyes, "And you... you care."  
"I've never seen this side of you before," I said.  
"I've never had a reason to be this way before!" he exclaimed, "Until you showed up, I never thought of myself worth much." A pounding on the door broke us out of our conversation. Severus looked panicked again.  
"Hey boy, open... open up! I hear there's a girl in there!" a deep voice boomed, then the door, not being locked, opened. His father stood there in the frame, a bottle of fire-whiskey in his hand.  
"Dad!" Severus exclaimed, standing up.  
"What're you doin' with a girl? What've you been up to at 'ogwarts? You ain't that one pregnant now, 'ave you?" he asked, pointing to me.  
"No sir," Severus said softly.  
"What? You liar! All you're good for's trouble! C'mere, maybe I need to teach you a lesson 'gain," he said, and grabbed Severus by his shirt. His father looked at me.  
"Better come girl, see what dis trouble-maker has comin'. This'll set you straight to, so you stay away from this filth of a boy," he said, beckoning and smiling.

…

He dragged Severus out of the room, and Mrs. Snape came in and looked at me.  
"I'm so sorry," she said.  
"Is he going to hurt Severus?" I asked, afraid of what might have happened, of what I might have caused.

…

Severus's mom didn't meet my eyes. I ran out of the room and followed the sounds of scuffling feet and small murmurs of protest towards the basement door. I flung it open...

…

I could hear some cries of pain as I headed down the stairs.  
"Crucio!" a voice yelled, followed by Severus's screams. I ran down as fast as I could...

…

I saw Severus, tied to a basement pole, bleeding from his back. His father held a whip in one hand and a wand in the other. I gasped, and Severus turned blank eyes towards me.  
"Well girl, I thought you'da been smart and left. But you wanted to see this worthless bag of shit get what he deserves..."  
"He's not worthless!" I exclaimed, getting angry at him.  
"Oh, he's not? So, he just may be a father... you really want this worthless being as a dad?" he asked me, and then turned to Severus, "And you... to be like that, you truly are worthless." I looked at Severus.  
"I wouldn't mind," I said, and angrily Severus's father began to whip at Severus's back again.

…

"Dis boy ain't goin' nowhere but to the grave. Shame of a wizard," he said, and my silent tears began to fall.  
"Do... don't cry Cat," Severus muttered as the whips lashed his back once again. That's why he wore black isn't it? That's why he wore the long sleeves. That's why...

…

"St... stop it... stop hurting him," I chocked through tears. His dad stopped for a moment, only to take a chug of fire-whisky.  
"You want me to stop bitch? What sort of punishment den, do you dink he should receive?" he asked, snapping the whip on the floor.  
"None!" I said, and as he aimed the whip again I ran forward and it struck my cheek. Blood ran down and he snapped it again...

…

I bet he was too drunk to even realize who he was hitting anymore. I took each blow as it came. I wouldn't let him hurt Severus on my account. Too many had been injured and hurt thanks to me, and I didn't want that anymore. I didn't...  
"Cat!" Severus said, and I turned and began to untie Severus, not even caring that the whip still struck me.  
"No one Sev, not even you deserve this kind of pain. I don't care how much you love your father, but no one deserves this kind of treatment," I said, "And you are something, you aren't worthless!" I succeeded in untying him, and then I felt myself slammed against a wall.  
"What're you doin' gurl? You gonna take him?" came a disgruntled voice and I saw a blackened wand pointed in my direction. I looked at Severus, collapsed on the floor, and yet, he struggled to get up.  
"Yes," I said, meaning that one word with all my heart. Severus's dad smiled and took another swig of his drink.  
"Den you gotta die. If you dink you can save him, yous just as wortless as him," he said, nodding his head towards Sev, who was still struggling to pick himself up.

…

"Avada Kedavra!" he shouted, and green light shot towards me. I entered a trance. I was going to show him how much I hated being picked on!

"Dragons in this darkened hour; hear my cries and feel my power. Blood with blood and sands of time with soot and dirt and pain and grime. Rebound the spell that comes like hell!" I yelled and my Dragon spirit shot in front of my, absorbing the blow and blocking the spell...  
"What the hell?" he asked, and collapsed to the ground.  
"Severus!" I yelled, running towards him.

…

"Miss, please go to Severus's room and put all that he owns in that trunk of his," came a soft voice, a females. I looked up to see Severus's mom staring at me.  
"Why?" I asked.  
"Just do it. I'll clean him up," she said and we helped Severus to the kitchen. He didn't seem conscious enough to know what was going on. I ran up stairs and entered his room and gathered his things and placed them in a trunk I found under his bed. The trunk held it all, even in its garbled mess. I used some magic to lift it down, and as I made my way to the kitchen area I saw his mom cleaning Severus's back.  
"Mum? Where's Cat?" Severus asked, not even looking around. He was still out of it.  
"Over there son," she said, pointing at me, but Severus didn't even look at me.  
"She's not dead? I... I saw the spell... hit her," he muttered, "I... I was...worried." His mother looked at me for a long moment and then began to talk to me.  
"I don't know who you are or where you're from, but you're strong and my Severus obviously treasures you and you even wanted to help him. Over there, take those papers to the ministry. I'm giving him into your care," she said.  
"But you're his mum!" I exclaimed.  
"And I want what's best for him! Do you think this is what I wanted for my own son? A life of abuse and no hope?" she yelled at me, and then she calmed down, "I want my son to be happy. I know it may seem that he might resist going at first, but, you, you are special. You know what its like, don't you? And you're stronger now from it. Teach him to have that strength. Let him stay with you, please."  
"I'm... um... two years younger than him," I said softly.  
"It doesn't matter," she said, "He needs you." She led Severus outside and I followed with the trunk. She summoned up the Knight but and helped us onto it, telling the driver to wait a moment so she could to talk to me. She pressed a small purse into my palm.  
"It's Severus's," she said.  
"Mum?" Severus asked, trying to look up.  
"It's okay my dear. Just go. I chose this life, but you didn't chose it and you don't deserve it. Please go and be happy," she said, kissing him softly. I saw the tears stinging at her eyes; she was trying to be strong.  
"I... I..." I didn't know what to say. I was looking a Severus's mother in some sort of light that I wasn't able to understand. It was wonderful and loving and yet very sad.  
"Please miss, tell me your name before I go," she said.

…

"Umm... Severus calls me Cat," I said.  
"You're a good friend Cat. Please, keep him safer than I can keep him. Don't worry about paying for tuition, that was paid for before he was even born, but don't tell him. Goodbye Severus... and Cat. If he remained here any longer it would eventually kill him, so please, take care," she said.  
"I can't promise that. I live in the portals Mrs. Snape," I explained a bit shyly.  
"You can give him hope. He doesn't have that here. All we can do is try, right?" she asked, "I love you Severus." I wished I knew her better... I wanted to say more, but she headed out of the bus and into the black night. I took Severus and laid him down on a bed, only watching sadly as the bus pulled away, a magnificent woman who was waving goodbye from a porch window. I placed the coin purse by Severus's head and sat down on the bed next to where his body lay. I assumed he was asleep.

…

"Your mother loves you so much Severus. I hope you see that and I... I care about you too... I mean... we shook... over the sketchbook. That can never change... we're friends forever. I may switch houses in a year, but you... you are my friend," I said.  
"Mmmph," he murmured in the pillow, stirring. I looked at his back, and it looked as bad, only slight improvement. His mother must have applied something to ease the pain. I was glad I was a healer, so that I could help more. I pulled out some ointment from my bag and rubbed it on his back. He settled down once again. By Neptune, I think I liked him and I'm only 11!  
"Hey, where're we takin' you? The bus driver asked. Oh, it was just Stan.  
"Hogwarts," I replied and planned to send the papers Severus's mother had given me by owl. I didn't think I could go to the ministry without the urge to press charges, and that would cause problems.  
"Right O!" he said, and the bus moved with a jolt.

I helped Severus off, carrying him, and headed towards the Portal's entrance. The Tree of Portals was near Hogwarts, and well, I didn't know why, but it made it very convenient for me. I knew Severus's Hogwarts letter would reach him here, as mine did. I placed his small coin purse in my pocket for safekeeping.  
"Miss Forest?" a soft, yet deep and kindly voice asked. I was so startled I almost dropped Severus. I managed to put him off the soft grass near a rock and I turned.  
"Pro...Professor Dumbledore," I said, startled.  
"I see you have Severus with you. Did something happen?" he asked.  
"Well... um... I... uh..." I didn't know what to say or even how to begin. To my surprise, he smiled.  
"You are a true friend Miss Forest. I shall see you when school starts. Don't worry, your letters will be there in a bit," he said, and walked away, whistling.  
"Cat?" A voice asked. I turned around and knelt by Severus.  
"Yeah?" I asked back,  
"Mom, she... she gave me into your care, didn't she?" he asked. Obviously he was conscious enough to know when it was happening.  
"Yes," was all I could reply. His eyes searched my face for something, and then he noticed my cheek.  
"You're bleeding!" he cried, "You bled... for me, didn't you?" I found myself crying again.  
"You... you're my friend... I thought... I thought I'd loose you," I said.  
"That circle of friends you have would have been happy," he muttered bitterly.  
"But... I wouldn't have been," I exclaimed.  
"You... you really cared about me, don't you?" he asked, as if he just realized it.  
"And I still care!" I explained.  
"I'm really in your care now. I'm out of that house... for... forever... And you're even younger than me!" he exclaimed, and tried to move his hand to whip the dried blood from my gash.  
"I never knew," I said, forcing him to relax.  
"Oh, I give up! I never told you, I was ashamed, no one knew. See all these scars? They're from my father, my own father. For the longest time... I believed him. I believed I was worthless... 'Til this year. And I met you," he said, "And you... no matter how hard I tried to push you away, you kept coming back. No matter how hard I pushed you Cat! I hurt you like father hurt me! And you still wanted to be my friend Cat! I can't say... that I can fully stop, but I want to try now... because you know why... why..." he couldn't finish. I took him into my arms, laying his head on my lap.  
"You understood me Severus. You may not know you do, but you do. And I... not even my other friends, save Lily, can understand me as you do. You've suffered, as have I, but we both survive," I said, "I'm just not strong enough yet. But someday... I'll be. Until then... no one should hurt or be in pain but me." Severus yawned and looked into my eyes. His were dark, black and mysterious.  
"You know, I don't mind getting hurt so much now. It was okay. You were there. You cared about me so much, and you were there. I could see you, sense you close, and it gave me strength. You didn't leave me alone, as others would. Thank you for being my friend," he said as he drifted to sleep. I sat there, just holding him, as night grew darker. God, I think I more than liked him!

Severus  
I awoke in soft, fluffy bed sheets. It wasn't my bed, but was very comfortable to relax into. I looked around, it wasn't my own room. Wait, where was I? I sat up, and looked all around. I saw my trunk, and a fresh outfit lay on top.  
"Hello?" I asked aloud.  
"Be right there dearie!" came a soft, singsong voice, and in came a short woman dressed in white.  
"Who... who are you?" I asked.  
"Oh, that's right, we haven't met yet. I am the caretaker of the Guardian and the oldest one in the portals. I guess I'm going to be your caretaker too, how wonderful!" she said, and picked up the clothes, taking them and placing them next to me.  
"Guardian? Do you mean Guardian of the Portals!" I asked.  
"That would be me Sev!" came another voice. Cat! She came into the room, dressed in a long-sleeved, tight velvet top and a skirt of velvet too.  
"You? I... wow... I..." I was speechless.  
"Yeah, I know. Chansey has cared for me ever since I was little. She always does a lot of the housework, it makes her happy for some reason, and she's awesome! And in this house, we live... tee hee! Oh, wait, there's one more person..."  
"Hello!" a female voice piped in. I almost gagged. I was in a house full of females. Sure, Cat was my friend, but a house of females? Bloody brilliant... (Sarcastic)  
"It's not so bad," Katy explained, "Annie's hardly here. She's always with her boyfriend of about... forever Mike."  
"It's full of women! I'm gonna be the only male!" I said, complaining.  
"And why, might I ask, is that bad? Are you homosexual or something?" the voice piped in again.  
"No... well... it's just..." I couldn't find a rebuttal. Katy gave me a big hug.  
"It's fine. We'll be just like family!" she said, positively beaming. I pulled a shirt from the pile of the bed and began to put it on, aware of how shirtless I was, and I realized I was also in no pain.  
"Oh, yeah, 'bout that... I'm a healer, and so, when I was able to get some of my supplies, your wounds healed up nicely," Katy said. I blushed as I put on the shirt. It felt nice here, warm. Chansey had gone somewhere.  
"Thanks," I said.  
"No problem. It's your home now too, at least, I think it is... just we... have some odd rituals, well, just old traditions and some rules. Other than that, and avoid the evils of course, you can do whatever until school starts," Katy explained.  
"It... its freedom..." I murmured, unable to comprehend it. I looked at her cheek, it had scarred up. I touched it gingerly, and she smiled at me.  
"C'mon, let's eat. You always looked so pale and thin. Hogwarts should have helped you gain some weight, if not, Chansey's cooking will," she said, and giggled, "Get dressed first though. They're yours, don't worry. They're just washed." I watched her skip out of the room. I tossed back the covers and changed into fresher clothes. I... my mother... she had sacrificed a lot for me. Now she was alone with him. I clenched the clothing. I couldn't let her sacrifice be in vain, and it was a sacrifice. She gave me into Katy's care and protection, not caring what father said or how he complained to the ministry. She probably had it all planned and thought out, just waiting for the moment to get me safer.  
I collapsed to the ground crying.  
"Sev, what's wrong?" Katy asked, coming back in.  
"I don't know how... how you could care about me... how my mother... acted so... selflessly," I was a bawling idiot; maybe my father was right, I was weak.  
"You're not weak, first off, so stop giving off bad vibes. You mother loved you. Mothers have that sort of instinct, to protect those closest to her. She loved you," Katy said, and took me into her arms again, "I never knew mine."  
"Do you?" I asked.  
"Do I what?" she replied with a laugh.  
"Do you love me?" I asked, "I mean, like... friend sort of love." I was sincerely covering my butt with that one.  
"Sure, why not?" she said, and hugged me. She whipped my tears with her sleeve. I smiled for the first time in a long time. I already knew her curse, so it made me feel special when she implied it.  
"Cat, I'm okay now, I think. Please just... just... just be my friend," I said, but as she had fallen asleep in my arms, I added, "just be mine forever." I needed her. I loved her; it wasn't just hormones and such. I think I truly loved her. I was hat home here.  
"Breakfast!" Chansey called. I was truly home.

A/N: Does it explain anything? I hope its okay, so please, Read and Review and depending on reviews I might continue with this story, maybe... I hope you enjoyed it. Um... well, this is babbling, but my other stories, What if and Everlasting Sacrifice are tied to this one so read those too for more background and story. I know I'd like getting more reviews, but its okay if I don't. Just keep any flames G-PG or don't do them at all, please...


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